hurdles holes and leaps

every day is something new in this place. but this place is nothing new every day.  every day i find myself jumping gaps that no one person can hope to leap over. and at the peak of every jump, i look down and remember what its like to fall short of a leap. every single time i get a running start. i make sure that everything looks okay, and then i begin to sprint. the gravel crumbles beneath my sneakers and it gets caught in my waffle iron grip.  somehow my feet know how many steps they have left before the edge of the gorge rushes to meet them. i put one leg forward as i crouch down to quickly spring back upward. before i know what's happened, i'm soaring over a super massive hole and hoping with everything in me that both of my sneakers will find solid ground again. i can clear my first couple of jumps without any trouble. as time flings me over these holes, they become increasingly larger. and soon enough it comes to my feet slipping and sliding on those little black rocks, struggling to push myself back up onto level ground. and here it comes once more. time and time again, i find an enormous black hole in front of me. a hole that i have had a part in digging. i proceed with a little more caution than i do with all my other jumps. i look around and see everyone begging me to "go for it!" instructing me on how to do it. i should listen to them. but who do i listen to? who's advice do i take? forget it. "i'll do this on my own accord" i tell myself. i begin to run and their advice pummels me from all directions. their shouts run through the air almost as fast as i do. they try to catch up with me and grasp at my scruff and shoulders. i manage to evade their sweaty, uninformed clutches. i make it to the edge of this cavernous problem and leap. i jump as hard and as far as i can. i fly like never before and leave al of their screams and taunts at the other side of the canyon. "i can do this!" escapes me at the top of my lungs. for some reason though, my eyes make their way to my feet and in turn the black emptiness below me. my engines seize up... there must be something caught in them. an insult must have broken a wing. i know as much of what is going to happen as you do. i spiral down in some sad spell. i try to flap my treacherous wings. i beat them faster and faster but i only fall farther and farther. this is it. i turn my head to the advice that has stopped. everything is quiet. the only sound is the air ruffling my feathers. all of their lonely eyes stare into my love sick ovals colored yellow and blue. they stare at me. they stare a gaze that reveals their apathy. i want to mouth to them "help"... but my lips are trembling far too much much to even remotely resemble the word love. as i fall, i soon meet them and we are at eye level. they don't shout to me... but they speak softly at me. they tell me that "we are not sorry. you do not deserve love." do i?