and so it is unsettling. to be at one with such a monster that shares this space. a monster that I've known for far too long. he and I have become close, to my unease of course. but i couldn't bear to ignore the lust that goes on in my self when this monster swells inside my being. this hollow shell of a body that i've come to occupy is nothing more than a vessel to deliver disappointment and hatred, or rather inspire it within others.
when an act is said and done however,
i do no more than shake hands with him
and wink.
no one understands this villainous phoenix.
burning brightly to explode in a murderous flash.
born again slowly from the ashes of memories.
i won't pretend to.
this beast is a demon that I hate, but can't help but be overcome by. and when it does shake my morality and cover me in a repulsive abhorrent veil...i'm swallowed. i become something i would never intend to be or wish upon anyone.
let it wash over me, it's the only way to survive. let me become the beast.
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