words don't cut it anymore. i find myself always at a loss. and that makes me unbearably saddened. something so beautiful, so strong, and so genuine has now become something that i'm incapable of expressing. the patience of the outside world is limited and the inside world is utterly confining. a convention of unbearable feelings is left to take the place of once held emotions. left to swirl around the vacuum that Nothing calls home. but what does one do when feelings aren't able to be translated? what happens when your most familiar ability is broken into pieces and scattered around the blood stained floor? a now fleeting comprehension is cracked and old. and staring at a flashing cursor leaves me...helpless. helpless to my own condition and that of others. unable to express my unconditional need to accept and listen, i am the vacuum.
there are colors that meet in the middle. thoughts and theories and feelings all blend together in a gorgeous soliloquy of understanding, rocketing skyward to meet what we all know or have known at a single point. these colors are dripping of each other now. they are seeping through the walls and leaving me distraught, fragmented, and colorblind.
and so, having been locked into the eyes of an individual so trance-inducing, i dive headfirst and headstrong. hoping to break the surface and breathe in absolute clarity. the water i'm sure has other plans. regardless, i dive.
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