impressive

I wait all day, I wait all week. I wait all month for rain and most of the time it doesn't show up. In wanting clouded skies, I take the sun for granted. Those impressive streaks of light shattering glass and breaking my resolve just make me want to dive into the sun and swim through space.

I've been here three years since July
And I've tried on a few more names
My head's still stuck in drive
But my body seems to feel the same.
This California sunshine
Is calling out your name in vain
It's saying that you're all mine
But I know you need time to change

I know that you're gone,
You've been burning hard and burning fast.
You said can't come home,
And they're not sure if this should last.
You know that I'm at home,
I'm right here when you're away.
In a year or two,
I'll come back, I'm there to stay.

You're so far from home,
the West Coast is sore from carrying you.
You've gotta do this one your own,
You said there's nothing I can do.
This California sunshine,
is calling out your name in vain.
It's saying that you're all mine,
But I know we need time to change.

I'll be right here
when you get back.
Your friends tell me
not to even bother.
I"ll contain
these heart attacks.
We always come right back
to one another.

excerpts of a younger self

"if you don't have a daddy,
wel that's okay.
i'll lay in a field with you
if you feel like coming home today
todays the day"


"there's an expression
of other discretion
thank you kindly,
but i'm leaving you my dear
i just can't take living here anymore."

"hey little moon,
what is your name?
oh would you teach me
how to play this game?
when day is night
and night is day
won't be no sunshine
not on me..
not a single ray."

i'm

content to drown.

the shifting of plates.

you.

i know who you are. and you know me.

i write to you as gently as i can, with my cleanest and clearest intentions. 

you are the 'b' to my 'a'.

i know that you will travel this earth, you will go far.

i know that you will make prints in the sand, your skin will caress old bark and be aged by tired winds. 

you are beautiful.

i can tell that you have thought about it.

the two of us know, we both know more than we know ourselves. 

no matter how far we go,

no matter how many miles we drive,

no matter how many steps we take, homes we live in, faces we love, or times we die...

we will always come back.

we are magnets. 

even if we do not see each other for years at a time,

it's always like we were in different rooms of the same house, within earshot. 

i love you.

i'm not ready..

maybe,

as the new year comes in

and the ball drops

and screams from millions of human beings wash over me and my unrest,

i'll be transformed into something else.

something that will allow me to swallow what awaits me.

to venice...

tell me what you're listening to

as i watch you cruisin' down the strand.

your hair gets swept up in the winter air

and i just want to hold your hands.

i know you've dyed too many times

to count on hands and feet,

your technicolor breaking through

leaves me shaking in my seat.

so i made you follow me

we layed between the blades,

as the air was getting colder

and our skin began changing shades.

without the will to make a move

breathing stationary in the grass

you're keeping time according to my heart

while i stare watching the clouds move past.

my footwork symbolizes us,

more than you could ever know.

your peddling is getting faster,

my wheels are struggling through snow.

as soon as you get close to me,

i peddle fast and far away.

my mind is so much quicker than,

i could ever hope to be.